As the title clearly advertises, here is my *simple* and surely effective solution to the steroid problem in Major League Baseball:
Step One: Get one of those GIANT Russian planes, the Antonov Something.
Step Two: Round up all the records for Major League Baseball from 1994 (The year they had their season ending strike) through 2014, (yes, including the end of this season).
Step Three: Gather all the players who have used steroids. Either admittedly, or were caught, or indicted themselves by refusing to answer questions in front of congress.
Step Four: Load them all on the plane.
Step Five: Fly it in to the side of a mountain at the highest speed possible.
Step Four: Load them all on the plane.
Step Five: Fly it in to the side of a mountain at the highest speed possible.
PROBLEM SOLVED!
In a few years, when my son asks me why there are no MLB records for 1994-2014, I'll just say to him, "Well son, baseball had been slogging on for over 100 years, and everyone got bored. So, they decided to take a couple of decades off, and sure enough, when they came back, we all fell back in love with the game."
And when he looks at me and asks "How long until you think someone will beat Roger Maris' home record of 61?" - I'll know we did the right thing.
In a few years, when my son asks me why there are no MLB records for 1994-2014, I'll just say to him, "Well son, baseball had been slogging on for over 100 years, and everyone got bored. So, they decided to take a couple of decades off, and sure enough, when they came back, we all fell back in love with the game."
And when he looks at me and asks "How long until you think someone will beat Roger Maris' home record of 61?" - I'll know we did the right thing.
PS: Ryan Braun is a cheat and a liar. He, and all like him, should be banned from baseball... AND PETE ROSE SHOULD BE IN THE HALL OF FAME!!!
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